Blanche Yurka's '07 Blog

My Daily Entries This Week

Sat July 13

Mr. French has come out to Asbury for 2 days and we went out in the canoe last night.  He is so well-read and really quite interesting. I enjoy talking to him more than to Duras, but that is saying very little. Oh! how I should like to meet some men whom I could enjoy and admire absolutely. - A truce to all this. Somehow I feel a little out-of-it - as Bess and her friends have known one another for years and naturally I cannot join such a comradeship.  They do not let me feel it, of course, and Bess is so attentive and charming, but an intimacy like theirs is quite different from mere friendship. We all went to the vaudeville Fri. night and took our dip yesterday aft., but the waves knocked us about so that I felt quite exhausted.  Today Mr. French went into the water with me in the morning.  The surf was very rough, so in the afternoon Ed took me into the pool where I swam. It was glorious fun and I won a box of Huyler's when Ed bet he was older than I. Also 10 cents for swimming across the pool. In the evening, all 4 girls went over to the Auditorium to hear "Victory Divine'' -- a junk bit of oratorio and to hear Mrs. DeMoss sing. Her voice is lovely and the other soloists were good, but the music -- worthless.

Sun July 14

Bess was invited to meet Mrs. DeMoss and sang for her and found her perfectly charming.  She was to sing "I know'' at the church service in the Auditorium so we went over to hear her.  She phrased it just as Miss Thursby wants it and with such lovely tone.  We left after she had finished and walked up to see the sights at 4th Ave Beach but there were none out, much to our disappointment. And it was hot!! After dinner, during which the De Bow boys and the girls discussed girls and men and love affairs and motives till they were blue in the face, we went down to hear Pryor's Band and laid on the sand all afternoon. After supper we went down to another quiet spot on the Beach; I read Keat's "Eve of St. Agnes'' (these girls are certainly arousing my appreciation of poetry) and the girls talked over college days.  I couldn't join of course, so I just lay still and listened, feeling a little bit out of it. What a bond they have between them. Bess seems to be the moving spirit of the trio, but they are so congenial.

Mon Jul 15

I arose an hour earlier in order to get some letters off and succeeded. Wrote to Duras, and hope it was not too gracious. I wish I didn't have that half-contemptuous feeling toward him. There is no particular reason for it, except that he is rather Bromidian. And perhaps that is because his originality freezes up in my presence.  They all tell me that I am so awe-inspiring. Ahim\'{e}! The surf was magnificent and we all went in. At four we girls took a lunch and went over for a picnic on Deal Lake. Bess and Helen paddled and Nancy and I were stretched out in the bottom of the boat. We had the greatest fun over the lunch and the candy, and for the first time I felt as if I were really one of them. Then, after dark we drifted quietly,  watching the stars and moon come out and talking very little. It was perfect and we stayed out till 10. Coming home Bess told me of Nancy's sad love affair - her sweetheart died 10 days before they were to be married and she is only just recovering from the nervous shock.  Oh! I shall never form an opinion of a person hastily again.  That accounts for her reserve and seeming indifference at times.

July ?-?

Here I have been home for a week and my poor journal has been quite neglected. Perhaps it is just as well, as now I can eliminate all the trivialities which out not be recorded, but which somehow creep in. I enjoyed my visit more and more and as I look back I find it had a very stimulating effect. First of all, I grew to know Bess better and she is so decidedly worthwhile. She is the sort of girl whose depths you do not sound during the first month of acquaintance. Quite in contrast to Ella. That is not disloyal, I am sure, for I appreciate Ella's charm, and general enthusiasm (Bess says it seems insincere, but  I know better.) But Bess stimulates me to read and think, and that, not only in music, but in a much broader way.  She is a well-rounded, deeply cultured girl; and her cleverness is not in the least obtrusive, because of her fine sense of humor. In a word, with Bess I am stimulated, while with Ella, I believe it is I who do the stimulating, which is not conceit, but truth.  Bess' college life did a great deal for her, I fancy, and she must have been a "shining light'' (Dear old Emma Witt!) for she is a born leader.  Her brothers were very interesting; quite different from any men I have known.  Robert the older one, I scarcely saw, as he was busy as a life-guard, but I am sure he would prove as unusual in many ways as Bess.  What I enjoyed was the directness and seriousness with which they all discuss things together; no rambling or evasion when a problem comes up, and each seems to have a different point of view.  Then they each respect one anothers opinions as well as there own, so that it often becomes a close draw, as to which side shall finally win out. Then Bess is an ideal hostess. She goes about, entertaining you if you wish; if not, you are at leisure to do as you please.

The most important thing which has happened to me in a long time, I am inclined to believe, was meeting a friend of Bess's -- Mr. George Middleton, who has written a play for Hackett and seems to be a "coming'' celebrity.  He knows ever so many famous people and it did not take him a half-hour to sum me up -- and I am happy to be able to say -- favorably.  He was quite frank in giving me an idea of the impression my personality makes, and in consideration of all that has been told me on the same subject, it was rather important.  He asked me to sing for him, which I did, very badly, and I could feel that the quality did not make the impression I wanted it to.  And that always seems to be the case with strangers.  He said quite frankly that my personality was so important a factor in my singing that it was practically impossible to separate them.  But, as so often has followed, he said that I had every attribute for a successful actress, and wanted to know what I thought of that.  I told him all about my indecision and uncertainty; how the life seemed sordid and the environments ugly.  He quite changed my ideas on that subject by showing me how one must be bigger than one's environments, rather than be affected by them; he assured me that one could grow finer and better in theatrical life as well as in any other profession, if that were the tendency of one's character.  In fact, we thrashed the whole matter out thoroughly, and it ended by my promising that if I come to any decision about going on the stage after I return from Maine, I should let him know, and he will do all in his power to help me. He thought that, as I am so young (where have I heard that before?) it would be well for me to study and prepare myself.  True enough for don't I know how difficult it is to get a hearing with no experience? It was quite an invaluable acquaintance for me to make, as he knows the grounds so well, and was absolutely unbiased. It seems funny that three men of such wide experience with personalities as Mr. Fuchs, Mr. Damrosch, and Mr. Middleton, should come to me and tell me of their own accord, that I ought to go on the stage!  Well, I realize how much these two years have developed me in the difference of attitude I am able to take now.  Two years ago, when practically this same thing occurred with Mr. Fuchs, I felt as if the ground had been swept from under my feet, and all my dear ambitions seemed to be tumbling about my ears.  Now, I realize that the important thing is to find that medium of expression which does not limit one, and if it is to be drama instead of singing, ehbien! the difference is not so great! And there is always the feeling when I sing that I am limited by mechanical defects; that my voice is not really fulfilling the promise which my personality has made.  But I refuse to worry; I shall go quietly to Greenacre, sing just as well as I can, and note carefully the effect my voice has upon absolute strangers.  Then, if I find that there is not a possibility of great things in it, I shall quietly talk things over with Mrs. C. and arrange my plans for the winter.  And I truly believe that Mr. Schirmer will be just as willing to help me do this other thing as he has been to help me in my singing.  Which is a very comforting thing to fall back upon.

< Previous | Top | Next >