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Sat May 25
Cleaned house all morning and at one oclock went down to play for Stojowski. I had my Mozart Fantasie worked up and wanted to overcome him, but of course he stopped me after the 3rd page. He said I played the notes well, but not the rests! and that I was very musical but of the technique he was not so sure. I wonder if I shall ever acquire technique in anything. At three oclock the opera class gave their recital; poor Mrs. Aldrich felt under the weather and in fact, the whole thing lacked spirit. Miss De Bow and I walked up to Grand Central and she was so glad that Leopold encouraged me. She is such an intelligent girl. In the evening, expected Duras, but he did not come, so went with Frank Sovak to a chicken party at the Slav. Alliance. Home at 2 A.M.
Sun May 26
A rainy Sunday, and I very sleepy. Had two lovely naps during the sermons. Poor Miss Doxrood was half a tone sharp during the quartett and it sounded awful. That goes to show how much is involved in singing. Even when the voice is lovely, the method good and the person intelligent, a little uncertainty in pitch may occur and spoil it all. The organ recital after service was beautiful. Found Duras at home after church, but as he had said he would call for me and had failed to do so, I felt rather irritated against him. I managed to sooth down after supper and we had a jolly evening. Carrie called and she is full of the Europe trip. I managed to rub it into Duras about breaking engagements and I don't think he will do it again.
Mon May 27
Pegged away at harmony all morning and consequently had no time to practise so my voice was stiff and heavy. I seem to be down on it again - I suppose my singing so well last week was too much. But it is so inconsistent., for if one sings well, it ought to give one the sensation for good and all. An artist's recital was given and a Miss Michalson played beautifully. She is a young woman and very talented. Had a chat with Mr. and Mrs. Collins while waiting for the rain to stop, and I was so giddy and frivolous that I drove them to drink (tea at Maillard's) In the evening, we all went to Sokol Hall and saw the girls go thro their drill [group calisthenics]. It is effective but scarcely worth going to Europe to perform.
Tues May 28
Had a French lesson with Mr. Collins at ten, and heard the last of the Krehbiel lectures at eleven. It was an amusing one on folk-games involving songs. After that Ella and I went out for the first time to a restaurant for luncheon, and filled ourselves with vienna coffee and strawberry tarts and wine cakes till we felt like pastry dolls. After the last Italian lesson Miss De Bow and I went up to Church and after a sufficiently long wait to temper our enthusiasm he heard her sing and liked her voice. Then we went up to Whittier Hall - a beautiful big place, full of bright looking college girls - and we sang for one another. In the evening, rehearsal till nine, then the opera recital at the Institute. Ella's beau took me home in his machine and I am all in.
Wed May 29
A bad day, altho the weather was fine. My voice is deep and the dumps; why? the Lord only knows for I am perfectly well, except that all this "going'' has tired me out. Had a lesson with Miss Thursby and she worked hard to make me sing a few decent tones. It is so discouraging and so inexplicable, that I should get so far down. And Miss Thursby said if only I did not have a beautiful voice she would not care, but I have and so it is still more dreadful to tie it all up. Mr. Collins said that if Mrs. Aldrich kept on singing as she does, she would not last two years and Miss Thursby said she used it well. so there! Went to say goodby to "Mariska'' and am sorry she is going. She gave me her picture and promised to write.
Thurs May 30
Went to bed at 9.30 last night to make up for all the nights of dissipation of the last two weeks. It is memorial day; a beautiful day and the houses are all decked out in flags. But it is like draping flowers on a skeleton to try to make N.Y. look attractive, at least the East Side. Ugh, how I hate this neighborhood! Mr. Duras took me down to the Institute and promised to call for me at 5.30 but failed to keep his appointment, as usual. Mr. Damrosch examined us and I sang, quite unexpectedly, "L'Heure Exquise'' -- which I had never even studied. Mr. Damr. said he had never hear me sing so well and shook hands with me, and every one said it sounded very well. At four had a lesson on "Traviata'' and it went well, because I cut out the effort and pronounced clearly. Poor Miss Thursby, said she was so discouraged yesterday. And it was awful. But it was partly, I think because I needed a good night's rest.
Fri May 31
My last day at the Institute and I feel like doing the Highland fling. I don't know why everyone is so fagged out and ready for a vacation but 'tis so. It has been a strenuous winter and I should like to just loaf for days now. I am not sure that I did so much work, but it was the thought that it was there to do that wore on me. Said goodbye to my Fairy godmother, who is going to Pittsburgh, and who was very glad that I sang well for Mr. Damrosch. Also to Miss De Bow, who wants me to visit her at Asbury this summer. Went in to speak to Dr. Damrosch. He said he had been very pleased yesterday; that when I stayed within a certain range and degree of dynamics, the voice was sweet and sympathetic, but the moment I exceeded these two it sounded forced and almost ugly. I said that if even one note was good, it had possibilities for a voice, as I have often been told. "Ah yes,'' he said, "but it means a mountain of work and infinite patience; and since you want to choose it for your life work, I want you to understand the nature of the task you are undertaking.'' For which I thanked him, wished him a pleasant summer, like a true Bromide, and left the Institute until next year. As I look back upon the season, it has been full of interest, yet not as successful vocally as I had hoped it would prove. Last Autumn everything above F was very breathy, and all below was strongly marked by the "gutteral'' quality which Mr. Schirmer speaks of. Well, the "gutteral'' quality is disappearing and also the breathiness but it has been only for the last six or eight weeks that I have consciously done things right. Before that I muddled from one thing to another. The great trouble is that every one tries to give you ideas. That is not good for a beginner, however narrow it may seem; for one must get the right idea and stick to it till it bears fruit. How often has that been said to me, and how long it has taken me to realize it. My trouble has always been that I try to do the complicated thing instead of the simple one.