Hello again, and welcome to Frankly Speaking, my column for pretty much stuff. This week, we have a special guest: the famous Tom Turkey, the only turkey to have been alive since the first Thanksgiving.

Frank: Hello Tom, How are you feeling today?

Tom Turkey: I'm feeling all right, as long as I avoid the hunters.

F: Ha ha, that's a good one (gee, that wasn't funny at all). So if you saw the
first Thanksgiving then that would make you over 380 years old, right?

T: Yes, I am 387 to be exact.

F: So tell me, how did you manage to survive all of those years?

T: I usually avoided hunters, but I did have to lay the smackdown on the occasional hunter. Bugs Bunny style, if ya know what I'm sayin'.

F: I can't say I do.

T: You know, the whole deal with ramming rocks into their gun barrels so that they blow up in their faces, and dropping anvils on their heads. That lousy rabbit stole my routine! I'll get him! I make him my thanksgiving dinner!

F: Ok, calm down (looks like we have a loose cannon on our hands. I'd better end this.). Ok, folks, lets bring out our next guest, Hunter Bill. He's paid me a large sum of money to turn over Tom Turkey.

T: What? I'll get you, for this! You hear me! I'll get you! If I ever get out of this, I'll get you!

Hunter Bill: Hey, thanks for providing me with Thanksgiving dinner. Here's the dough I promised.

F: Thank you. I've never seen this many zeros in my life.

B: Trust me, it's worth it. I've been waiting to eat this guy for almost 320 years.

F: You sure have. Ok be sure to join us next week when I do whatever it is I feel like doing. See you then! Goodbye everybody!