Hello again, and welcome to Frankly Speaking, my column about stuff. Yup, folks, it's that time of year again. Time to stuff yourselves to the gills with one of the greatest birds to ever live-the turkey!!!

Turkeys are awesome. I've always loved them. In fact, they're so good that I even like the breast meat, which is unusual, since I prefer the dark meat. Speaking of which, never come between me and my drumstick. You might lose an arm (namely the one you're holding it with, since I'll probably just lunge for the drumstick and end up with your arm down my throat-cartoon style, so I don't get hurt, of course).

Anyway, there's lots of other goodies at the table, like pumpkin pie, mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, cranberry sauce and sweet potatoes. Like I mentioned last year around this time, this is the only American feast we really have, which is funny, considering how big this country is on eating. I wholeheartedly support the increase in days set aside for the sole purpose of eating. It's pretty sweet to get the day off (especially now that I get paid for it-WOOHOO!), but food just makes it more awesomer, so Thanksgiving is the more most awesomerest secular holiday because you get to eat until you burst, and isn't that all that really matters?