Hello again, and welcome to Frankly Speaking, my column for pretty much stuff (What? I had to start it with that even though it's not really a column. That's right folks, what we have here is an anthology. Yay!). Well, it's been a while since my last article, and I just wanted to make sure that my column wasn't forgotten about, so I took the time to compile this small collection of some of the real gems. To tell you the truth, I'm only writing this foreword to make this thing longer, and I doubt you're even reading this. If you are, then good for you. You must really be interested in my commentary on these works, and as a reward, I'll throw you guys a bone.

I guess I should start at the beginning. A few of the people in the office knew that I had some strange ideas, and that I had the ability to think of some of the most trivial and random things. Seeing the entertainment value of this, they decided to give me a column in the office newsletter for the football poll in order to give the newsletter a bit of variety, and give a few people a good laugh.

I only had the chance to write about eleven of these articles (most of which, I ended up writing at one in the morning), but many people enjoyed my column. The very fact that I was able to pick five of them to include in this collection is testament to the high quality of work that I strive for and my amazing writing ability. Now that I'm through with my conceited rant, I give you The Best of Frankly Speaking because isn't that all that matters?