Bobbleheads are Creepy

Hello again, and welcome to Frankly Speaking, my column about stuff. Have you ever noticed how creepy bobbleheads are? You know, those miniature figurines, whose heads and necks are attached by a spring in such a way that the head bobs up and down? Yeah, those things. The head's always extremely large for the body, and they've got these big creepy grins on their face, kind of like the one I've had from time to time. Come to think of it, they should make a bobblehead of me. That would be the coolest, most hardcore bobblehead ever, and since I usually grin like they do, it's closer to reality, and therefore less creepy. A similar example would be a Teddy Roosevelt bobblehead. He used to have a really big grin, too. Yup, those were the days . . . hitting people with big sticks, grinning all the while . . . sweeeeeeeet.

Anyway, back on topic, they'll make a bobblehead out of anyone these days. I've seen 'em all, from Ozzy Osbourne to Tiger Woods (what's the deal with his name anyway? Is that his real name?). Then, you've got ones that talk when you press a button. They always use a catch phrase from the subject of the bobbliness (I made that word up myself) for the button. For example, in the aforementioned Ozzy bobblehead, he says "I'm the prince of [beep] darkness." The funniest part is that they actually use the beep to make it like the show. I guess if I were a bobblehead, I'd say "Yaaaaaaayyyyyyy!!!!!" or even "Roger dodger. Wait, did I just say that? I can't believe I said that! I have to go beat myself up now." Yup, that would be pretty sweet. It definitely wouldn't be as creepy as those other bobbleheads. Maybe I'll start a line of bobbleheads, featuring teddy and I. That would so rock. Well, that's it for today's column, but I'll be seeing you soon, and isn't that all that really matters?