In light of Valerie Saiving's assertion that "feminine sins" differ from masculine sins, the authors of this project have written the following theological re-imaging of sin.
The Seven Deadly Sins as written by women:
Self-Loathing (replaces the sin of Pride)
Over-Exertion (replaces Sloth)
Lust, Gluttony and Greed still count, but Lust and Gluttony are suspended once a month and Greed is suspended in the case of footwear
Refusal to ask for directions or to read instruction manuals
That whooping noise you make when your team scores a touchdown
Territorial Urination
Leaving the toilet seat up (but only if it causes another believer to fall)
A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what
he can't.
--Rhonda Hansome
Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the
windows.
--Jennifer Unlimited
I need a WIFE: a Woman Managing [Freaking] Everything!
--Anonymous
Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and
your body starts falling apart.
--Caryn Leschen
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days
attack me at once.
--Jennifer Unlimited
When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for
two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss...and they called
ME slow!
--Kathy Buckley
Behind every successful woman...is a substantial amount of
coffee.
--Stephanie Piro
Behind every successful woman...is a basket of dirty laundry.
--Sally Poe
A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar. The
bartender says...What is this, a joke?
--Unknown
You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If
you can find humor in anything - even poverty - you can survive it.
--Bill Cosby
A sense of humor is the lubricant of life's machinery.
--Unknown
If you can look into the mirror without laughter, you have no
sense of humor.
--Unknown
All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the
whole world was tranquil, without disease and violence, I'd be standing on the
breadline right in back of J. Edgar Hoover.
--Lenny Bruce US comedian, satirist, author
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
--Mel Brooks
Happiness for the average person may be said to flow largely
from common sense -- adapting one-self to circumstances -- and a sense of humor.
--Beatrice Lillie (1898-1989) English comedienne
Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility.
--James Thurber
A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance
to your step as you walk the tightrope of life
--William Arthur Ward
A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without
springs, jolted by every pebble in the road.
--Henry Ward Beecher
Laughter sets the spirit free to move through even the most
tragic of circumstances. It helps us shake our heads clear, get our feet back
under us, restoring our sense of balance and purpose. Humor is integral to our
peace of mind and to our ability to go beyond survival.
--Captain Gerald Coffee POW in
Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's
superiority to all that befalls him.
--Romain Gary
Optimism and humor are the grease and glue of life. Without
both of them we would never have survived our captivity.
--
Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he
isn't. A sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is.
--Horace Walpole English novelist