THE SOCIAL ADVISOR: For Club Crowd and the Socially Conscious
"Common sense is not so common."
* Voltaire, Dictionnaire Philosophique (1764)
Thursday, September 18, 2008
For Club Crowd and the Socially Conscious
I wanted to take a minute to
talk about my experiences clubbing this weekend. I was at a night club
this past weekend, which I love to do occassionally, and I noticed a
few things that I just have to speak on. My hopes are that whom ever
reads this blog, either guy or girl, would be able to take my
experiences and apply them to their own lives where ever they see fit.
So, I was at a club this weekend (i don't want to say where and give out free publicity on my blog because I did not really enjoy this club that much) with a small group of friends and associates. We decided to go out on a Friday night after work which may have been a bad idea since the energy I had was limited, but then again, Friday nights are good nights to good out and mingle with the young professional crowd. I didn't get to the club until after 12am, but that's normally when things begin to jump off here in the 'Bean'. The club I was at had 4 floors, and they were all packed. There was a lot of variety, variety in music and the people, and if you wanted to just mingle, the bottom 2 floors were made for you. If you're anything like me, you go to the clubs to dance, so the top 2 floors were where the music was bumping.
One of the first things I noticed is there were a lot of girls dancing, and a lot of guys standing around the outskirts of the dance floor observing the drunk ladies shake their groove things. Now I understand that their are some guys who are a little self conscience about the fact that they are great dancers, well it's time to let go of your fears guys, because their were some less attractive and untalented dancing men all over the dance floor getting some rump shaking action, but for some reason, I noticed that the more attractive guys were posted up on a wall, or sitting at a booth, watching all of the action take place. I noticed a few hot guys eyeing me, but i just don't feel comfortable asking a guy to dance with me. I know it's old fashioned, but I am still a firm believer in men making the first move. Maybe they were intimidated by a good looking Black women, I know that the consensus is that we tend to be a little more aggressive, but we still want someone to take charge every once and a while.
After a while a young black man approached me and politely asked me to dance. He was very courteous and seemed to have a professional career since he was all suited out, but when he came over and spoke in my ear, I could help but smell his breath which smelled horrible. I noticed he was holding a beer, and once I caught a whiff of his breath, i could tell the stench was caused by his choice of beverage, so i have decided to dedicate this first blog to him.
One thing that kills me is how guys love beer, but they never take into account that beer makes your breath smell terribly. Bad breath is one of my biggest pet-peeves, but I won't make it seem like I'm perfect and have never had bad breath. Here are some of the general causes and types of bad breath that most everyone has experienced:
1) Morning Breath
2) Cigarette Breath
3) Empty Stomach Breath (When your stomach is empty the smell of the gases in your stomach taint the smell of your breath)
4) Onion/Garlic Breath
5) Beer Breath (second worse)
6) Gingivitis/Halitosis Breath (worst of all)
Almost all of these causes for bad breath can be cured with a simple stick of gum, so if you are one of those guys who have to have a beer when they go out, or even if you're a lady who like a beer every now and again, remember to buy a pack of gum as well. You never want to be caught off guard after having a beer because the minute you take that first swig, you may have to talk to someone or someone may want to talk to you, and there is no bigger turn off than a guy or girl with smelly breath.
Take my advise!
Quiana
So, I was at a club this weekend (i don't want to say where and give out free publicity on my blog because I did not really enjoy this club that much) with a small group of friends and associates. We decided to go out on a Friday night after work which may have been a bad idea since the energy I had was limited, but then again, Friday nights are good nights to good out and mingle with the young professional crowd. I didn't get to the club until after 12am, but that's normally when things begin to jump off here in the 'Bean'. The club I was at had 4 floors, and they were all packed. There was a lot of variety, variety in music and the people, and if you wanted to just mingle, the bottom 2 floors were made for you. If you're anything like me, you go to the clubs to dance, so the top 2 floors were where the music was bumping.
One of the first things I noticed is there were a lot of girls dancing, and a lot of guys standing around the outskirts of the dance floor observing the drunk ladies shake their groove things. Now I understand that their are some guys who are a little self conscience about the fact that they are great dancers, well it's time to let go of your fears guys, because their were some less attractive and untalented dancing men all over the dance floor getting some rump shaking action, but for some reason, I noticed that the more attractive guys were posted up on a wall, or sitting at a booth, watching all of the action take place. I noticed a few hot guys eyeing me, but i just don't feel comfortable asking a guy to dance with me. I know it's old fashioned, but I am still a firm believer in men making the first move. Maybe they were intimidated by a good looking Black women, I know that the consensus is that we tend to be a little more aggressive, but we still want someone to take charge every once and a while.
After a while a young black man approached me and politely asked me to dance. He was very courteous and seemed to have a professional career since he was all suited out, but when he came over and spoke in my ear, I could help but smell his breath which smelled horrible. I noticed he was holding a beer, and once I caught a whiff of his breath, i could tell the stench was caused by his choice of beverage, so i have decided to dedicate this first blog to him.
One thing that kills me is how guys love beer, but they never take into account that beer makes your breath smell terribly. Bad breath is one of my biggest pet-peeves, but I won't make it seem like I'm perfect and have never had bad breath. Here are some of the general causes and types of bad breath that most everyone has experienced:
1) Morning Breath
2) Cigarette Breath
3) Empty Stomach Breath (When your stomach is empty the smell of the gases in your stomach taint the smell of your breath)
4) Onion/Garlic Breath
5) Beer Breath (second worse)
6) Gingivitis/Halitosis Breath (worst of all)
Almost all of these causes for bad breath can be cured with a simple stick of gum, so if you are one of those guys who have to have a beer when they go out, or even if you're a lady who like a beer every now and again, remember to buy a pack of gum as well. You never want to be caught off guard after having a beer because the minute you take that first swig, you may have to talk to someone or someone may want to talk to you, and there is no bigger turn off than a guy or girl with smelly breath.
Take my advise!
Quiana
What Would You Do?
My boyfriend and I have been dating for the past year, and I won't lie,
or relationship has been very rocky, but I won't denie the fact that I
do treuly believe that he loves me and wants to be with me. I know I am
his everything and he's mine, but we just can't seem to get along. At
one point we were living together, but things got so bad that i had to
ask him to find another place to live. It took him a while, but he
finally moved out, and at first it was hard for me to adjust to not
having him around all of the time. I eventually got used to it, and
actually enjoyed not being attached to him at the hip. I was finally
able to do my own thing without having to get his approval because
since we were living together, I couldn't just not come home after
work, if i wanted to hang out with my friends, I would have to call him
and let him know I wasn't coming straight home, and to let him know
what time I would be home. Now don't get me wrong I love my man, but he
tends to be a little anal sometimes about little details which tends to
conflict with my nonchalant attitude, but we've lasted this long, so
there's obviously something keeping us together.
Now that he has his own place I realized that our autonomy can work both ways. Just like how I don't have to tell him everything I'm doing and everywhere I'm going the way i used to when we lived together, he no longer feels the need to keep me informed. I have no problem with him doing his own thing, I want him to enjoy his time away from me as much i do, but lately I've been getting the feeling that he's been enjoying his freedom way too much. On a few occasions, I've spent the night at his house, and since he has to be at work before me, he usually leaves early in the morning while I'm still sleeping, but when I wake and am getting dress, I've noticed items belonging to other women stashed all throughout his room. The first thing I found was a small women's sweater hanging on the back of his door. He told me that he had a few friends of and that one of his friends left it there by accident. Another time a found a girl's Victoria Secret lotion on his dresser, which he obviously wasn't trying to hide, so when he told me that it was one of his neighbors who he happened to be hanging out with when i came over, i believed him. I week later, I found a girl's lip gloss stashed in his dresser draw. I'm sure he didn't mean for me to find it, but why would he have to hide it unless there was some kind of underlying reason. and then today, once again I find another women's jacket hanging on the back of his door.
Now when i bring it up to him, he makes it seem like I'm over reacting to the situation, but I feel that this shouldn't be happening at all because I know when i go out to friends houses, I don't forget my clothes, I make sure I have everything I came with before I left, but obviously these dumb broads don't realize that their friend has a girlfriend and that they shouldn't be leaving their belongings behind because by default, they may end up getting burned during my fits of rage.
What would you do? Do you think I'm being naive? Should I just break up with him, or should give him the benefit of doubt? Has anyone (guy or girl) ever been in this same position? Let me know what you think I should.
Now that he has his own place I realized that our autonomy can work both ways. Just like how I don't have to tell him everything I'm doing and everywhere I'm going the way i used to when we lived together, he no longer feels the need to keep me informed. I have no problem with him doing his own thing, I want him to enjoy his time away from me as much i do, but lately I've been getting the feeling that he's been enjoying his freedom way too much. On a few occasions, I've spent the night at his house, and since he has to be at work before me, he usually leaves early in the morning while I'm still sleeping, but when I wake and am getting dress, I've noticed items belonging to other women stashed all throughout his room. The first thing I found was a small women's sweater hanging on the back of his door. He told me that he had a few friends of and that one of his friends left it there by accident. Another time a found a girl's Victoria Secret lotion on his dresser, which he obviously wasn't trying to hide, so when he told me that it was one of his neighbors who he happened to be hanging out with when i came over, i believed him. I week later, I found a girl's lip gloss stashed in his dresser draw. I'm sure he didn't mean for me to find it, but why would he have to hide it unless there was some kind of underlying reason. and then today, once again I find another women's jacket hanging on the back of his door.
Now when i bring it up to him, he makes it seem like I'm over reacting to the situation, but I feel that this shouldn't be happening at all because I know when i go out to friends houses, I don't forget my clothes, I make sure I have everything I came with before I left, but obviously these dumb broads don't realize that their friend has a girlfriend and that they shouldn't be leaving their belongings behind because by default, they may end up getting burned during my fits of rage.
What would you do? Do you think I'm being naive? Should I just break up with him, or should give him the benefit of doubt? Has anyone (guy or girl) ever been in this same position? Let me know what you think I should.
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