reate an Atmosphere of Non Violence in the Home
ince witnessing violence or threats of violence is like a poison to children.  Parents of newborns need to settle conflicts without attacking each other —verbally or in any other way.

    New parents are under stress. A mothers is tired and trying to figure out how to understand the cries and gestures of her new baby. Her sleep in interrupted and her old life has disappeared. She wonders, "Will I be good enough? What does this baby need?"

     A father’s old life has disappeared. He feels that fatherhood is not a changeable decision. He has to be father for the rest of his life. He wonders, "Will I be good enough? What are the best things to teach? How will I keep my child safe?"
     It is easy to snap and attack your mate—"Your mother spoiled you, she…" or "You only think of yourself, you should…."   Remember that each of you are under stress. When your partner crosses the line and attacks you, wait until you are calm and say "If you are upset and tell me you are upset I will try to help you. If you are upset and you attack me I will push you away." Try to say how you feel. If someone says "I feel hurt," you want to help them even if you made them upset. If someone attacks you, you might want to push them away or be rude back to them.

     If pushing or shoving fights enter a home, children will hear it and they may

· become fearful and insecure worrying about their parents.
· decide to become bullies themselves.
·  decide that their fate in life is to become victims.
· believe they cannot trust adults to protect them.
 
     If either parent is being attacked, hit, shoved or repeatedly humiliated, they should talk to a health care provider who will refer them to a professional who can see if this is abuse.

    Children's best home environment is one without fear-- with mutual respect between parents.

 
 
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