Bad Chemistry Jokes

Q: What do dipoles say in passing?
A: Have you got a moment?

Q: What do dipoles say on departing?
A: Debye!

Q: What happens when electrons lose their energy?
A: They get Bohr'ed.

Q: What happens when spectroscopists are idle?
A: They turn from nutating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.

Q: What is the Fourier transform of Bruker data?
A: A varyin' baseline.

Q: How are spin echos so useful?
A: Many Hahn's make light work.

Q: Why can't lawyers do NMR?
A: Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.

Q: Why do Republicans have trouble with NMR?
A: They produce plenty of polarization but little coherence.

Q: Why are supercons so humorless?
A: They've no irony core.

Q: Why did the quadrature detective lose his job?
A: Couldn't distinguish real from imaginary.

Q: Why did the quantum mechanic live in the lab?
A: Didn't want to commute.

Q: Why did Old McDonald keep switching crops?
A: You get better nitrogen performance in the rotating farm.

Q: Why is a NOESY like a good milk shake?
A: You have to use the right mixing time.

Q: Why do interferograms always evolve from the left?
A: A sin is never right.