by Teresa Gaudet
I truly hate the woman, thought
Jan. She pretends to be so innocent, so sweet whenever she talks to Aaron,
but I know it’s just an act. I can see right through her. If she just
so damn smart. That really pisses me off. Look at her waltz into the
Frig her. A new outfit again today I see, in her sickening size 5. I’d like
to cram a few cheeseburgers down her little throat and watch that tiny
grow. Bitch. Great, here she comes with her, “Good morning Jan.” It kills
me every time I have to speak to her. But I know those times are limited,
going to see to that. That’s the only thing that keeps me sane.
“Good morning, Jan.”
“You’re going to be a busy little
bee today.” Christine hands me a pile of neatly organized papers. “ Aaron and
I have the Board of Director’s meeting today at 1:00. You will be able to
these re-typed and collated by noon, won’t you?”
“Yeah, I can.”
“Good. You know I’m really lucky
Walsh Construction has an Administrative Secretary. That way all I have to
think about is the really important work and not this mundane paperwork
Remember, by noon. Understand? Oh, and I need 12 sets.” Christine breezes
towards her desk with an air of superiority.
“No problem,” I call out to her.
It’s so easy to say that today. Any other day I would have knots in my
and acid in my throat. But not today, today is a different day all together.
I hear the click of the doorknob
and look up expectantly, butterflies fill my stomach and my heart.
“Good morning Jan, and how are you
today?” Aaron asks as he jaunts into the office with the broad smile I am so
“I’m good, how about you?”
I watch him unlock his office door,
turn on the lights and sit at his desk. I know he will only be sitting
Just long enough to switch on his computer and printer, check how many
are waiting for him and pick up his coffee mug. It has been the same routine
for the last five years, day in and day out. He is certainly a creature of
habit. Any reservations or doubts about my plan melted away as soon as Aaron
walked through the door. Just his mere presence fills me with happiness and
makes everything right in the world.
“Hey, don’t take all the coffee,
save a cup for me.” Christine is practically running towards the coffee
“I want to do a comparison to last night’s coffee,” she says as she laughs
playfully pushes him out of the way.
Last night, what the hell went on
last night? I feel anger filling my chest and my heart palpitating at an
rate. Oh God, not another date. I can’t believe he could be interested in
her. She’s such a bitch. Shit, I can’t hear them now. They’re talking too
quietly, almost whispering. Damn her.
“All this talk about coffee has
me ready for a second cup,” I say as I approach the coffee machine.
glares at me for interrupting their personal moment.
“I’ve never seen you have more than
one cup a day since you started working here,” says Aaron with that smile
melts my heart. I notice Christine’s glare becoming more intense when she
that I never have two cups of coffee.
“I know, it just tastes extra good
“Jan, shouldn’t you get to work
on the stuff I gave you earlier. I need it as soon as possible to prepare
the meeting this afternoon,” says Christine.
“Yeah, I better get working on my
presentation too,” adds Aaron. “Catch you two later.”
My eyes meet the stare of Christine
straight on. The air between us is heavy, the silence filled with words that
I do not allow myself to verbalize.
“Listen Jan,” says Christine, “I
realize you have some kind of matronly protective thing going on with Aaron,
but it really isn’t necessary. Believe me, he’s a big boy who can take care
of himself quite well. Yes, he’s a big boy indeed…
The smile that spreads across her
face sickens me. It takes all of the self-control I have not to punch her in
the face. I feel my entire body break out into a sweat as my blood threatens
to boil over. “Remember the plan,” I say to myself, “keep cool.” The last
thing I want Aaron to see is my losing control. I must not do anything that
may seem suspicious later on. And beating her to a pulp may be letting my
about her out just a tad too much. I can wait. Justice will be mine soon
I ignore her statement and return
to my desk. Christine doesn’t speak or move when I turn my back on our
I watch her stare dreamily into the blackness of the coffeepot. She can have
her moment to dream about Aaron. It’s okay, I can think of it as her last
“How are you coming along with Christine’s
report, Jan?” Aaron asks, interrupting my thoughts.
“Oh, I’m getting there,” I say.
In reality I haven’t even started the first page. It’s so pointless. I
planned to actually do her work today. But, that will look suspicious.
I better get busy.
“I’m going to need you to proof
a few spreadsheets for me before the meeting, and make 12 sets, if you can
to all of that before 12:30, what do ya think?”
“Sure Aaron, anything for you.”
“You’re always there when I need
you, Jan. Thanks.”
And I will always be there for you
Aaron. Soon, we will be able to be there for each other. As soon as little
missy is out of the way you will rediscover your feelings for me. I know
are still inside of you, buried under her brainwashing. Your feelings were
stronger, until the bitch came on board. But I won’t let her stand in the
of what is meant to be any longer.
“Jan….Jan, will you get with it
please? There’s a lot of work to be done before the board meeting,” remarks
Christine. “I am trying to ask you a question, will you stop ignoring me?”
“What is it?”
“Did you understand the correction
on page three? I penciled in the re-write in the page margin. I wanted to
make sure you could follow where to add that sentence.”
“Yeah, I’m all set on that, but
there’s a lot of corrections. This is going to take me awhile. Plus, I have
spreadsheets to work on for Aaron. Do you think you could help me out with
this deposit?” I reach across the desk to pick up a night deposit bag with
the previous day’s receipts enclosed, and hand it to Christine. “ It doesn’t
foot out against the sales report.”
“ Jesus, Jan. What the hell is your
problem? I had to fix three deposits last week. You never had this problem
before. You’re simply not concentrating. Any trained monkey can make up a
deposit slip and count some cash.”
“Fine, I’ll find the problem and
fix it myself, but don’t yell at me when you don’t have your reports for the
“Oh, I’ll do it,” protests Christine.
“But you better start paying more attention, or I’m going to have to write
I struggle to keep the smile off
my face. This is so easy. It took some time to come up with the master
but patience is a virtue. I knew right away that a weapon was out of the
There is way too much open space in this damned place. Everyone is in plain
view of each other. We are all thrown together in this long, narrow room
our desks lined up in rows like school children. There is absolutely no
No place where one could safely fire a gun, or plunge a knife into the enemy
without being identified. It became clear early on that poison was the only
answer. Arsenic was my first thought and could have worked, but death can
as long as twenty-four hours, running the risk of missing the best part.
was my second choice, until I found out that it has a bitter odor, making it
much too noticeable to be successful. So, I had to do some research. But I
didn’t mind. It wasn’t like a chore, it was quite exciting. Whenever I
I was on to a possibility the butterflies would start in my stomach and I
feel each individual nerve as it set on fire within my body. It was like
up to a fabulous orgasm. I was almost glad to find a flaw in a particular
That allowed me the opportunity for more exhilarating research. But, finally
the decision was evident. Sodium fluoroacetate. The perfect substance. A
white powder with no smell or taste. When the dust is inhaled the chemical
blocks cellular metabolism, affecting all body cells, especially those of the
central nervous system. I’m not quite sure what that means exactly, but I
how dreadful it sounds. The most important fact, however, is that it kills
quickly. I will be happily watching Miss Chrissy puking her head off within
“Jan, give me the first two pages
for me to proof read. I want to make sure everything is perfect with my
before you make all the copies,” says Christine bringing me out of my
“Oh, I don’t have them ready yet,”
I stammer, suddenly realizing I haven’t gotten a thing done on the reports.
“What do you mean you haven’t got
page one and two done yet? What the hell have you been doing? It’s 11:00
These have to be finished soon,” shouts Christine.
“Okay, don’t worry. I’ll whip them
up in a flash.”
“Don’t whip them up and make errors.
Do them right.”
“So, you’re going to look at that
deposit for me soon, right?” I ask with excitement.
“Like I’m really worried about that.
I’ll get to it when I get to it. Fixing your mess isn’t my first priority.
Let me know as soon as you have the first two pages completed.”
“All right.” I realize that the
sooner she’s ready for this meeting the sooner she will check the deposit.
I scan the pages of work in front of me. Pages one and two are simple. I
get that done fast. Three, four and five will take a little longer. Six,
and eight, not bad. Nine and ten, oh great, those are the worst pages. I
clock, eleven fifteen. I’ll have one and two done
by eleven thirty. I begin typing as fast as I can, anxious to get this last
task for Christine completed.
“Christine, here you go, pages one
and two,” I say as I toss them on her desk.
“Well, that’s a start. Get the
others over here ASAP, got it?”
“Yeah, I know.” I return to my
desk and start typing again. Pages three, four, and five are a bit of work.
I find it difficult to concentrate. Everytime I hear little Miss Christine
move at her desk I glance up hoping to see her opening the deposit bag. I
my mouth widen into a smile as I recall the fun I had the night before.
a fine particle facemask and heavy gauge rubber gloves I lined the inside of
the deposit bag with the magic dust. As an extra precaution I also dusted
and every bill before I put the money back in the bag. With ecstasy I am
that there will be no way for her to avoid the dusty inhalation.
“What do you have finished now?”
I look up to see the pompous bitch
at my desk. “Wait one second.” I finish two keystrokes and hit the print
on my computer. “There you go, three through five.”
“You do realize it’s 11:45. I don’t
know why you are so slow. You understand that I need the whole thing by
right? I’ve only been telling you that all day. I’ll be back in fifteen
for the rest, it better be ready.”
“ I certainly hope we get some kind
of tax credit for employing the mentally challenged,” I hear her say in a
loud voice as she walks towards her desk.
I just laugh and smile. Now that
the end is near her nasty remarks don’t bother me in the least. Looking at
the paperwork in front of me, I quickly type pages six, seven and eight. I
feel myself becoming more and more excited the closer I am to having this
report completed. Once she is ready for the meeting I know she will deal
the deposit. Glancing up at the clock I realize it’s noon. I can’t believe
the witch isn’t at my desk this very second. She will be soon. Nine and
I must have them done. Shit, so many damned corrections. Well, I can type
fast as lightening when I need to. I whip up the last two pages by five past
twelve. Wow, I smile, now that was quick.
I hear the fast paced clicks of
the bitch’s high-heeled shoes approaching my desk.
“All done, Christine,” I say happily
as I hand her the rest of the report. “Any luck with finding my error?” I
knowing she hasn’t looked at it yet, but being unable to stop myself from
it up again.
“No, I haven’t had time,” she sighs.
“I’ve been busy waiting for you to get this simple job done. I’ll try to get
to it before one so you can bring it to the bank once the board meeting has
“Okay, that sounds great. Thanks
for your help with that.”
Christine looks at me with her eyebrows
raised in disbelief at my comment. I smile sweetly at her and stifle a laugh
as she shakes her head and returns to her desk to proof read the last few
It’s so fun to mess with her head. What a great day this is. I take out
spreadsheets and double-check all of the entries for him. I love doing work
for Aaron. It isn’t even work, it’s a pleasure to do anything for him. Even
to kill for him.
“How’s those spreadsheets coming
Jan?” asks Aaron as he walks into the room.
“I’ve checked them all. They
were fine, as always. Now I’m just going to make your copies, and you’ll be
“Good, it’s getting late. Twelve
“Your copies will only take a couple
of minutes,” I reassure him. “Then I’ll make the copies for Christine and
two of you will be all set for the meeting.” I put the set of papers in the
top feeder of the copy machine, select the sorting option, request twelve
and hit start. The machine makes its familiar churning sound and begins
the copies, filling twelve slots with page one. Then it jams.
“Damn,” I mutter. I open up the
machine and pull out the crumpled paper that has lodged itself halfway in and
halfway out of the slot with the number two. I reset the machine, and hit
again. The machine runs one copy before stopping for another paper jam in
exact same place.
“Shit, this is all I need.”
“What’s the problem?” asks Aaron.
“The sorting option on the stupid
copier is on the blink. I’ll have to make all of the copies and then collate
them manually. No big deal, Aaron, its only twelve sets.”
“Okay, I’ll be in my office if you
need any help.”
I try my best to look casual, but
my insides are in knots, and my head is pounding with stress. This means I
will have to print and manually collate Christine’s report too, and that will
take some time. Jesus, this isn’t good. I know she won’t look at the
before this friging report is ready.
“Damn you Jan,” Christine
yells across the entire office. “You stupid, incompetent moron. You
the biggest, dumbest mistake you could have on page nine. Do you
the time, it’s almost time for the meeting.”
“What’s the problem? I’m sure I
can fix it and reprint the page in an instant. Then I’ll make the copies and
collated them in two seconds,” I say in an attempt to calm her down. “It
take long at all.”
“I just don’t know how you could
have been so inept, it’s beyond me,” she yells with her voice becoming louder
with every word. “What do you mean, you will collate the copies. Did you
even know there is such a thing as a copy machine that can do it all by
“Yes, I do know that, but at the
present time the sorting function is not working. Don’t worry, I told you
take care of it. How about that deposit, have you looked at it yet?”
“You have got to be out of your
mind,” yells Christine at the top of her lungs.
We both look up as the door is quickly
flung open and Aaron runs into the room.
“What the hell is going on out here?”
he asks the two of us.
“This moron made a ridiculous error
on my report, has to retype it, make the copies, and then manually collate
in about five minutes, and she has the nerve to ask me about her fucking bank
deposit that she is too stupid to do on her own. It’s simply ludicrous.”
“Christine, where is this deposit?”
asks Aaron. I watch motionless as she lifts the bag off her desk and holds
it in her hands. “Jan does a lot for us before every meeting, I know we’re
in a time crunch, but it will only take a second to figure it out, and we
to wait for Jan to finish up anyway.”
I love Aaron, look at him sticking
up for me. He’s the best. It’s like he chose me over Christine. Little
he realize how strongly he has chosen me.
“Aaron, you really don’t expect
me to do this favor for her after the morning I have had because of this
“Easy, Christine. We’re a team
here. We work together for the good of Walsh Construction. But, I can see
how upset you are, so give me the bag. I’ll do it.”
I stop abruptly in my tracks as
I hear Christine laugh.
“Who ever heard of a Chief Financial
Officer fixing a simple deposit? That’s been way behind you for years now.”
“I don’t mind, Christine. The way
to succeed in life is for people to work together. I think maybe you should
learn a little something by my example.”
“NO,” I shout as I run to Aaron.
“That’s really not necessary. I can fix it later, while you are at the
I gently try to pull the bag away from Aaron, but he holds on to it tighter
when I attempt to pull it away.
“It’s not a big deal Jan. I really
don’t mind one bit.”
I grab the bag with a firm tug but
Aaron holds on even tighter, pulling the deadly weapon into his chest.
“I can count it later, really, it
doesn’t have to be looked at right away, please give it back to me,” I beg.
“Hello, people, we have a board
meeting to get to,” interrupts Christine. “Will you PLEASE fix this
error and reprint the page and get on with this before I lose control?”
“Jan, finish the report,” demands
“Okay, but please just leave the
bag on my desk, will you?” I ask.
“It makes me feel good to help you
out for a change, Jan, you’re always the one supporting me. I insist.”
I feel helpless as Aaron takes the
deposit bag to a vacated desk nearby. In horror I watch as he pulls the
out of the bag and begins to count it, inhaling the poison with every
I begin to feel dizzy. The room starts spinning as if I was on a sickening
park ride. I cannot speak; my heart is in my throat. The violent death that
will ensue Aaron screams loudly in my head: vomiting, hallucinations,
of the face, irregular breathing and heartbeat, facial twitching,
and coma. The finality will be from respiratory failure. I am unable to
“JAN,” yells Christine, “finish
the fucking report, why are you just standing there like a statue?”
Calmness suddenly washes over me.
All I wanted was for Christine to be out of the picture and for Aaron and I
to be together. It doesn’t really matter where we are together. Slowly I
over to Aaron, pick up the deposit bag, hold it to my face and inhale deeply.
Teresa Gaudet Copyright 2001