Or: Sometimes homosexuality is a choice -- and what's wrong with that?
Department of Psychology, Boston University
April 20, 2000
Email from a student who had taken Developmental Psychology (PS 141) at BU with me the year before:
You said that since gays and lesbians couldn't get a member of the opposite sex, they responded with the thought "Well, I don't need them anyway," and thus became gay.
The student went on to say that, in addition to being offensive, this can't be, because it is known that homosexuality is biological, and so it isn't a choice.
My response:
I am sorry that I said something (possibly worded slightly differently) which was misconstrued as this! Nevertheless, psychology as a discipline has not reached the level of consensus you imply.
Although psychologists agree that for many individuals, homosexuality is not a choice, little is known about the factors that lead individuals to identify themselves as gay. There is growing recognition that homosexuality has a genetic component to it, yet a role for the environment is indicated. The probability that one identical twin will be gay if the other one is gay is near 50% -- but not more.
Many gays and lesbians have embraced the position that homosexuality is not a choice because they feel that less discrimination and prejudice will be forthcoming for something that is genetic, biological, or otherwise not a choice. But this is a fallacy. Why shouldn't people's lifestyle choices be just as respected as "choices" made by their DNA? This reminds us of what is called the "naturalistic fallacy": Just because something occurs in nature (e.g., has a genetic component) doesn't mean we should tolerate the expression of those behaviors. For example, criminality and sociopathy have a genetic component, yet we don't tolerate these behaviors. Religious beliefs are often choices, yet we tolerate (and protect by law) religious diversity.
There is compelling evidence that choice does play a role in some expression of homosexuality. The choice may be conscious, as in situational homosexuality (becoming lovers in a single-sex environment, such as an all-girl or all-boy school,or in prison). Or the "choice" may be unconscious, as happens when girls/women who have abused by men find themselves being more happy with female friends, and then find themselves falling in love with a girlfriend. Setting aside abuse, if one surrounds oneself with female friends and can live in a kind of female-centric world (ignoring the societal message "find a man, you're nothing without a man"), falling in love with a female friend is the most natural thing in the world. The impulse to fall in love with caring, attractive human beings in the vicinity is more profound than the impulse to seek out a specific gender of person.