2008 - 2009 BU Debate Society Members
Officers
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President
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Rocky Lotito (COM '09) |
Mighty Rocky leads the team using both love and fire. His powerful voice can kill people and then bring them back from the dead, and for more minor offences, he employs the prison system, albeit a highly changed prison system. Besides debate, he does many things, such as hosting his own TV show.. about debate. He likes the Wizard of Oz except for Dorothy, the Tin Man and the Cowardly Lion.
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Vice President |
Ryan Cross (CAS '09) |
Debating is fun, but the main reason people come to meetings is so they can go home to Cross's afterward. This apartment has at times housed more than 75 homeless individuals and is conveniently located near food sources of all kinds. We also elected Cross because he went to the prom with fellow vice president Dick Cheney, and we assume that we wil need him to to train us if we must form our own militia. |
Artist formally known as Vice President |
Raffi Melanson (CAS '10) |
Raffi has debated, but after being elected vice president, he realized there was more to life. Such things include eating five or six times a day, playing video games, eating food and eating. As an Armenian, Raffi knows much black magic and will use it at the slightest provocation. |
Treasurer |
Ryan Menezes (COM '09) |
As treasurer, Menezes spent most of last year not reimbursing anyone for anything, so we re-elected him to see if his monetary policy changes when his facial hair does. It doesn't. We thought Menezes was sketchy last year, but he's decided to up the ante this year by moving to a slum, carrying a suitcase with him at all times and licking people. He likes abolishing things, such as teeth, hats, sleep and salt. |
Secretary / Novice Tournament Director |
Greg Meyer (CAS '11) |
 Those who saw little of Greg last year knew him as the bouncy novice. Actually Greg remains still, but the universe bounces; Greg can prove this mathematically if you ask him. If you ask him anything else, Greg will tell you that you are wrong, and will correct you because he knows more than you. Bums follow him regularly because he often takes only three puffs from his cigarette before throwing it at their happy faces.
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Tournament Director |
Alex Taubes (CAS '11) |
Alex Taubes last year was not merely an uppity novice. He was the Uppity Novice. He was a novice so uppity that he transcended known definitions of "uppity" and "novice." All future uppity novices will be judged against him. His uppitude and novicity bent the rules of uppity and novice to serve him such that he saw it as no vice and said up with pity. He has since gotten worse. |
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Lesser Minions
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Rania Baker (CAS '11)
Rania's work to raise awareness of the hearing impaired has earned her praise from people with ears of all sizes. She belongs to a secret society to which only one unknown other meber belongs.
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Brady Bizarro (CAS '11)
Max Chin's archnemesis, Brady comes from a world that is like ours, but different (there, they drink Nozz-a-la Cola). He suffers from anterograde amnesia and does not remember what that means. |
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Erica Brandt (CAS '09)
Though opinions differ on whether Erica even attends BU, she comes to more tournaments than most members. She criticizes our group as an Old Boys Club, but that's why she gets along so well with us. |
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Joe Burke (CAS '11)
185 sandals walk into a bar. They ask the bartender, "Hey, I'd like to order a Joe Burke." The bartender says, "I'm sorry, we can't serve that." They say, "Why not?" He says, "We have no Burke in stock." Heyooh! |
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Jake Campbell (CAS '09)
Jake serves as a Member-at-Large on APDA this year, so we do all we can to check his growing power. For instance, we often lock him in his room with only Pixar movies for company. He likes this. |
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Garron Chiu (SMG '10)
Shy shuddering panda Garron sweats liquid gold. When the perspiration drips from his fingertips, his cigarettes crumble, causing Garron much pain. For comfort, he dresses to kill. Enemies. |
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Lina Duarte (CAS '09)
Lina's insistence on using "j" instead of "h" has led to kosher meals, racial slurs and interesting Bill Cosby salutations. She belongs to a secret society to which only one unknown other meber belongs. |
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Tom Hagedorn (ENG '10)
As an RA for several group members, Tom maintains order and frowns upon all drinking, even of water. He plans a genocide against gingers for which we wish him the best of luck. |
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Sarah Klein (CAS '11)
Sarah insists she isn't whatsit, so we're going to go ahead and assume she isn't. A Tustee Scholar, she's probably smarter than any of us, but she hides this well out of modesty. |
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Lauren Metter (COM '11)
Ever since God invented Parmesan cheese and Satan invented the chicken, man has waited for someone to join them. They'll have to keep waiting. Lauren's too busy reporting for the paper. |
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Roman Pazuniak (CAS '09)
It's not Roman's fault that he keeps getting injured. We like to think its a vast buffalo wing conspiracy, and we're just happy he's still alive, stil holding, still swiping and still Roman. |
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Vieshnavi Rattehalli (CAS '11)
Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows. So does Viesh. Who knows what evil lies in the hearts of Viesh? Men know. So does the Shadow. |
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Kyle Wende (CAS '09)
A day we don't suffer Kyle is a day well spent. For he is a flower in a pot, yearning to reach at the sun. We don't like that kind of thing at the BU Debate Society. No flowers. No pot. No sun. |
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Jessica Wilkinson (CAS '11)
Jessica's tireless work at the Danielsen RHA will undoubtedly prove useful to us this year, and by "useful," we mean "of no consequence whatever." |
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2009 - 2010|2008 - 2009 | 2007-2008 | 2006-2007 | 2005 - 2006 | 2004 - 2005
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